When Washington changed their marriage paperwork to accommodate same-sex marriage, they debated replacing “wife/husband” with “spouse a/spouse b”, “applicant 1 / applicant 2”, and other varieties. I can’t recall off the top of my head what language they chose.
Last night Andy referred to me, out of long habit, as wife. “Spouse, dear”, i reminded him. “Spouse”.
Andy: Oh right!
me: Which do you want to be? Spouse A, or Spouse B?
Andy: It should be Spouse A and Spouse 1. Which do you want to be?
me: Spouse A — the one with the letter, of course.
Andy: Oh good, i wanted to be Spouse 1.
NERD MARRIAGE: when English and chemistry majors wed.