The board game Monopoly will soon lose a classic token and gain a new one, by way of a public vote on Facebook. It may sound like harmless fun, but is in fact a travesty, though not for the sake of nostalgia or preservational instinct. Notice the four tokens currently winning the vote, and thus most likely to stay “safe” from elimination. They are, as of this writing, the Scottie dog, the race car, the battleship, and the top hat. What do they have in common? Accoutrements of the 1 percent. A Scottish terrier champion-line puppy may cost $1,500. A roadster, $50,000. A battleship, $100 million in mid-century dollars. The top hat is as much a sign of the filthy rich as the monocle.
Whoa whoa whoa. Let’s keep this in perspective here. We’re talking about Monopoly, which is a game about becoming the 1%. It’s a game that teaches us that being poor, being without capital, being without property is totally wrong and a surefire way to lose. In order to win, you have to not only collect more money and property than anyone else, you have to take everyone else’s money and property and bankrupt them.
Who the fuck cares what the tokens are?? I can’t stomach to even play the game in the 1st place.