One of my favorite toys when i was little (and very nearly the only doll i had for a long time) was a Drowsy doll.  If you gave a tug on the pull-string, she’d say something like “I go sleep now, night night!” or “I want another drink of water!!” or she’d cry or laugh or whatever.

Perhaps someone should have warned raanve of my evil tendency toward making others talk for my amusement.  [maniacal laugh MANIACAL LAUGH]  Then she’d have been prepared for when i do things like send her links to heinous newspaper comment threads where a letter-to-the-editor written by a college student in support of raising taxes in order to slow tuition hikes gets the poor letter-writer raked over the coals.

Hilarity ensued.  And also blistering critique!  Nor could her outrage be contained merely to our chat session!  No, it spilled over onto Twitter as well!!  And now it is presented here (with Jess’s blessing, of course) for your edification.

from chat:

me:  hey, all you ignorant assholes who proudly proclaim how you paid your way thru’ college decades ago: tuition’s gone up 100% in the PAST 4 YEARS. your college tuition was VASTLY CHEAPER. why?? BECAUSE TAXPAYERS FUNDED IT.

Jess: YUP

me:  i am also curious about the claim of “working class retired people” who are living off their capital investments.

Jess:  ha.  Yeah.

me:  i’m surprised these comments haven’t caught fire yet on account of all the straw flying around in their arguments.

Jess:   Also, I like how this person thinks they are KILLING IT with the logic of, like, “renters don’t pay property taxes” but guess what!  RENTERS DO. JUST NOT DIRECTLY.  IT’S CALLED RENT.  AND IT GOES UP TO ACCOMMODATE SHIT LIKE PROPERTY TAXES

Guess what else!  Renters DO pay property taxes and ALSO get no equity!  Not to mention the fact that you live in an urban area, and how many single-unit homes are really around? So, you know.  Maybe if you want people to collect your trash & make your food & stuff, you should appreciate that many of those people rent by necessity & stop being such a dick.

Also: Sure! Raise my taxes!  I am totally down with that!  I am currently “poor” enough that we get a lot of that refunded, and even if I wasn’t – I would still be okay with paying taxes! Because I enjoy living in a comfortable civil society with the possibility of a comfortable future even if the economy conspires against me.

So. You know. I guess I’m just not the rugged individualist that these folks are.  Not like I didn’t work throughout college, and then work afterward to pay off my academic debt, of which only a minor portion belonged to my parents.  Also not like I’m currently working for not-so-much money to educate other folks working their way through community college, as you so helpfully suggest.

Bascially, I hate these people so thanks for the link! :D

me:  happy to help! :D

Jess: I’d be thrilled to pieces to pay capital gains taxes because it would mean that i had INVESTMENTS AND INCOME above & beyond what I make from my job(s)  Which – surprise! – I do not have.

me:  ALSO. this is what it comes down to for me: anyone who uses THE INTERNET to make complaints about taxes & funding government IS A FUCKING IDIOT.

Jess: What??? The internet has nothing to do with the government!  and was built entirely by pioneering entreprenuers!  don’t you know anything?  sheesh.

Some of these are super lol-worthy, tho in that they clearly… have no idea what kind of privilege they’re talking about.  “I left for WSU with literally a single small suitcase and an apple box of possessions in a car that seemed to defy the odds of making it to Pullman”  Oh. So you didn’t have a lot of your own stuff (pretty common for an 18-year-old) and you HAD A WORKING CAR? THAT WAS YOURS?  Perhaps a shoddy, somewhat unreliable car, but. You know. A car.

“I learned what hunger felt like and that created a drive to succeed”  ok, then.

“i worked hard for every nickel” — without any societal help or assistance, right?

like, you made your own electricity & kept robbers at bay & fought fires & paid the wages of your teachers?  right? That is totally how that shit happened, right?

me:  ps: WSU is a state university. (as you may have guessed from the S portion. ;)

Jess: Yep.

me: also, drove on roads that the commenter laid down their ownself AS THEY WERE DRIVING ON THEM.

Jess: So it’s good to know that you are a fucking super-hero SELF MADE PERSON.  Good job, Gatsby¹.

And LOL FOREVER to this idea that anyone who suggests that maybe people take on their fair share of the social burden is lazy, unwilling to work, or not already working.  OR WHATEVER

“I learned how to live very frugally but without sacrifice of my dignity.”  Oh how nice. You were “poor” but you preserved your “dignity” Only to squander said dignity on the internet under a boring screename. Thanks NW Thinker. Thank you for this valuable life lesson.

Oh shit, I can’t stop, and also I can’t stop laughing

“We’ve worked hard for every single nickel and how dare it be endangered by a zealous politicain lusting over a pot that he didn’t make.”  I ALSO MAKE ALL MY OWN POTS.  ARE YOU LISTENING, AMERICA??

“Don’t tell me all our hard work was an effort in futility because it will all be stolen because of our own due dilligence!”

Oh, honey, it sounds like your “own due dilligence” is not very diligent.

and from Twitter:

• GDI, @wrdnrd is winding me up again.
• Rest safe in the knowledge that you will never be the self-reliant, hard-working, simple American genius that Random Internet Commenter is.
• I’m just a Regular Guy! Who did it all on his own! With no social structures in place to assist me at all! Typing on this internet I built!
• See, I pedal this bicycle wheel to generate electricity & it goes into this computer with its home internet I built & I did this all myself
• It’s pretty cool, right? I exist entirely outside the system, which is why I paid my way thru state university &.. oh wait. Hang on.
• I’m DEFINITELY not a huge a-hole who doesn’t know what they’re talking about or who makes use of other government services.
• Somebody please make me stop.

Nope!  :D  “WHY DO YOU DO THIS CHRIS”  Oh, no reason….

1. BTW, this is my new favorite insult in conversations like these!  :D [↩]

REALLY??

Original film version:

Fandom version:

Ichigo:  “The whole gang has it!  People will laugh at us!”

Glitch robot friend!

I did the fuel quest the other week and made the acquaintance of a subway robot friend!

Andy:  “I think i love Zuko so much because his voice reminds me so much of yours sometimes.”

I had the urge to watch this video earlier and realized, much to my own shock, that i’d never posted it here.  This is ridiculous, considering i use my blog as a bag to hold all my favorite internet stuff.  Note to future self:  Search for this using “NEPA” or “heynabonics”, or just look for it under the favorites category.

I discovered this video via a post on Language Log back in 2007.  I laughed so hard i nearly slid out of my chair at work, and a colleague from the back room came up to ask what was so funny.  Unfortunately, you are just not going to get this video if you’re not from Northeast PA or from somewhere near it.  I grew up in Central PA so this isn’t my accent¹, but all our “local” TV stations came out of the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton area, so i’m familiar with this accent/dialect nevertheless.

Highlights:

Verbal economy!  “Ya see, that was 6 words.  In 6 words, youse could be doin’ somethin’ else.  Like gettin’ a beer!!”

“No.  You don’t say that to people around here.  You’ll frighten them.  They’ll think they’re in a place they can’t afford!”

I also recognize the words “youse” and “mayan”.  And i did once hear someone say “your-n’s” in an attempt to make a 2nd person plural possessive, but i believe they were just fumbling and not using a word that’s a part of their usual vocabulary.

In conclusion, as much as i hate polka music (and always have), i have to admit to its being such regular background music to growing up in Pennsylvania that it feels strangely comfortable whenever i hear it.

1. The closest anyone i know ever got to saying “heyna” was my dad’s habit of saying “hain’t?”. [↩]