When i’m coming down with a head cold, or even when i’m already full-blown sick, invariably some genius will say, “Maybe it’s just allergies.”

Here’s a newsflash:  I do actually know what a head cold is like!  Furthermore, it seems obvious — to me, but apparently can’t go without being said — that i do know my own body far better than you ever will.  Are you my doctor?  No.  Are you my spouse?  No.  Are you one of my best friends?  No!  Are you ME??  NO!!

Both head colds and allergies are fairly common things.  And i am 38 years old.  Why would you assume that by now i would not have a concept of how my body acts when i am either sick with a cold or dealing with an allergy attack?

I know people have this urge to keep a conversation going, an urge to say something in response to whatever has just been said.  Here’s a tip:  When someone says, “I have a head cold,” just say, “I’m sorry to hear that!  I hope you get better soon.”  Because second-guessing their understanding of their own body is just fucking insulting.

I can watch “Doctor Who” all night long — episodes back to back to back.  I can even watch an entire disc of Monty Python shows in one sitting.

But apparently i can’t watch more than 1 episode of “Futurama” in a go.  We finished the last disc of the last season tonight — and they were 4 good episodes (especially compared to that dark spot in season 3) — but i found myself getting really tired of the whole Futurama formula.  Bender says something obnoxious/offensive, Leela punches/kicks something, Zoidberg is pathetic yet sassy, the Professor gets off a few good lines, and Fry pines and pines and pines after Leela.  Perhaps, like Mel Brooks movies, Futurama is best served up as out-of-context one-liners in conversations amongst friends.

Also:  Hey, script-writers.  A dude pining after Leela the way Fry does and constantly begging, nagging, cajoling her to go out with him isn’t charming or poignant.  It’s the 1st sign of stalker.  Find a new schtick!

Here’s how to irritate me and lose business on the internet:

1. Your Twitter is nothing but a feed from your Facebook.  So when i click on the handy link in your tweet, i go not to a page on your retail website but instead to a short blurb on Facebook, which means i then have to click over to your Facebook profile.
2. Your Facebook profile doesn’t actually have any link at all whatsoever to your main retail website.  Which means i have to click on a link that looks like it will at least take me to an individual blog post on your main retail website.
3. Your blog post link from Facebook does not in fact take me to that particular blog post, it just dumps me on the homepage of your retail website.

Conclusion:  I think i’ll go look at something else.

Because you have no right to judge that another human is trash.

The New York Times story “Militia Charged With Plotting to Murder Officers” (29 march 2010), about the arrest of individuals involved in a radical Christian militia group in rural Michigan, included the following gem at the bottom of the article:

By Monday, the Stones’ house stood empty, its front door ajar and two dogs still tied up in the muddy yard, which was littered with dilapidated furniture, a washing machine and tires.

Thanks for that, New York Times.  That truly was, without a doubt, utterly integral to the rest of the article.  Assholes.

This is kind of ranty all across new Who including “The End of Time,” so it’s pretty spoilerific.

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